The way I see myself is so distorted sometimes. I'm too fat, my hair looks a mess, my legs aren't long enough, my hands look disgusting, and clothes just never looks right on me.
Then those thoughts turn into, "I'm worthless. I'm not enough. I can't compare."
The past week or two, these lies have been knocking at my door, making me wish I was someone else. Wishing I was more that, and less this.
This morning I finally decided to open my Bible. I haven't been avoiding it, but I definitely haven't been running to it. With the hustle and bustle of this week, it's been easy to put it off and just grovel in my feelings and deceptions. In my head, I know the answer is there, but my selfishness gets in the way.
As I'm reading, it finally clicks. I realize it actually isn't about how I see myself. It actually isn't about me at all.
Song of Solomon 4:7
All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
Psalm 45:11
The KING is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord.
The Lord's truth finally got to my heart. It's how he sees me. I had to have that moment where I confessed, "God, I don't feel beautiful and it's hard to see myself this way, but because you said so, I will believe it." It's his truth that has to trump my feelings. It's his spectacles that I see through, not my own.
I love the scene in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie, where Lucy tries to change herself to Susan and then immediately meets Aslan after realizing her mistake.
Aslan: You wished yourself away and with it much more. Your brothers and sisters wouldn't know Narnia without you, Lucy. You discovered it first, remember?
Lucy: I’m so sorry.
Aslan: You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are.
So many times, I want to run from who I am. I want to change and be someone else. Jesus tells me the contrary. He tells me that no one can fulfill the destiny has for me except me.
I was in the kitchen making coffee, picking out every little thing I didn't like about myself, when Jesus told me, "You're like the anorexic girl who still thinks she fat! Lydia, Lydia, please, you're perfect! You're beautiful just the way I made you!" It hit me like a ton of bricks. He pleaded with me with his arms wide open. I couldn't do anything but run to them.
The moment we get our eyes off ourselves and look to Jesus, he'll start to change everything. He directs our eyes and then shows us ourselves in our royalty and beauty as he purposed and designed us to be. When we get beyond ourselves, then we're truly able to see with clarity and then show others how to do the same. If I just keep looking at Him and holding His hand, he'll whisk me away to his incredible purpose and glorious relationship with Him.
Those lies don't even have a chance to try and catch up.
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Then those thoughts turn into, "I'm worthless. I'm not enough. I can't compare."
The past week or two, these lies have been knocking at my door, making me wish I was someone else. Wishing I was more that, and less this.
This morning I finally decided to open my Bible. I haven't been avoiding it, but I definitely haven't been running to it. With the hustle and bustle of this week, it's been easy to put it off and just grovel in my feelings and deceptions. In my head, I know the answer is there, but my selfishness gets in the way.
As I'm reading, it finally clicks. I realize it actually isn't about how I see myself. It actually isn't about me at all.
Song of Solomon 4:7
All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
Psalm 45:11
The KING is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord.
The Lord's truth finally got to my heart. It's how he sees me. I had to have that moment where I confessed, "God, I don't feel beautiful and it's hard to see myself this way, but because you said so, I will believe it." It's his truth that has to trump my feelings. It's his spectacles that I see through, not my own.
I love the scene in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader movie, where Lucy tries to change herself to Susan and then immediately meets Aslan after realizing her mistake.
Aslan: You wished yourself away and with it much more. Your brothers and sisters wouldn't know Narnia without you, Lucy. You discovered it first, remember?
Lucy: I’m so sorry.
Aslan: You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are.
So many times, I want to run from who I am. I want to change and be someone else. Jesus tells me the contrary. He tells me that no one can fulfill the destiny has for me except me.
I was in the kitchen making coffee, picking out every little thing I didn't like about myself, when Jesus told me, "You're like the anorexic girl who still thinks she fat! Lydia, Lydia, please, you're perfect! You're beautiful just the way I made you!" It hit me like a ton of bricks. He pleaded with me with his arms wide open. I couldn't do anything but run to them.
The moment we get our eyes off ourselves and look to Jesus, he'll start to change everything. He directs our eyes and then shows us ourselves in our royalty and beauty as he purposed and designed us to be. When we get beyond ourselves, then we're truly able to see with clarity and then show others how to do the same. If I just keep looking at Him and holding His hand, he'll whisk me away to his incredible purpose and glorious relationship with Him.
Those lies don't even have a chance to try and catch up.
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Wow Lydia! Very powerful... you are going to do amazing & marvelous things for Christ's Kingdom! So glad we have the privilege of knowing you & your family.
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