I am not the woman who stepped off the plane here in Sydney four months ago. This month has confirmed it.
In the past month, I feel like I've been broken into a million pieces and put back together again. I literally think I've cried every single day, either from good or bad reasons. I finally got a job. I ran out of coffee. I ran out of myself, too. Ha, I know that wasn't that funny, but I laughed.
My biggest lesson this month is that I've never arrived. I've never arrived at loving Jesus or his people enough. I haven't arrived at being the woman he's called me to be. I haven't arrived in my gifting or calling. But that is the whole point of this journey. I'm running a race, not lounging in some hot tub. Every day is about pushing forward towards Jesus Christ. I won't arrive at the goal in my lifetime, because my goal is eternal.
God is pulling me and growing me and pouring me out until there's nothing left of myself. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. But the best part about losing myself, is that I get filled with him. And he is the most satisfying thing I've ever experienced.
I find more of myself in Him. I understand who I am in Him. The best part about it all is that I don't have to strive. I just be and that's it. I abide in Him. It all makes sense. But I still haven't arrived.
I am at the point where this is everything I am. I'm not here for me or for the lime light. I'm here for all the people God's called me to, both now and for the future. That is why God has brought me here. And I'm willing to lay my life down in every sense for Him. If he called me to live in a cave for the rest of my life to reach two random people, I would do it.
I love him. That's why.
On a lighter note, I got a job!!! God is faithful. I'm a waitress for the first time and it gets a bit crazy at times. But by God's grace, I've really gotten the hang of it and actually get great reward out of serving my customers. And the most surprising thing of all has been how strongly I feel God talk to me while I'm just cleaning tables.
I just want to encourage whoever's reading this to know that if God can provide and heal and protect and bring me here, he can do it for you! In my Old Testament class, I've just been so encouraged and inspired by the fact that God 4,000 years ago is the same as He is today. He has not changed. He is good and only does good. He does everything and allows things to happen for his good purpose. He will bring everything around because he orchestrates it all. Trust him. Cling to him. Be ignited by his love and hope.
I'm still trusting God for the second half of my tuition. But I know it's already here. It's provided for. I speak it in faith every day because I know God has called me here and he provides where He guides. I'm excited and full of faith.
Whooo. Feels like I just spilled out my guts. But I hope you enjoyed it, somewhat. Until next time.
xx
In the past month, I feel like I've been broken into a million pieces and put back together again. I literally think I've cried every single day, either from good or bad reasons. I finally got a job. I ran out of coffee. I ran out of myself, too. Ha, I know that wasn't that funny, but I laughed.
My biggest lesson this month is that I've never arrived. I've never arrived at loving Jesus or his people enough. I haven't arrived at being the woman he's called me to be. I haven't arrived in my gifting or calling. But that is the whole point of this journey. I'm running a race, not lounging in some hot tub. Every day is about pushing forward towards Jesus Christ. I won't arrive at the goal in my lifetime, because my goal is eternal.
God is pulling me and growing me and pouring me out until there's nothing left of myself. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. But the best part about losing myself, is that I get filled with him. And he is the most satisfying thing I've ever experienced.
I find more of myself in Him. I understand who I am in Him. The best part about it all is that I don't have to strive. I just be and that's it. I abide in Him. It all makes sense. But I still haven't arrived.
I am at the point where this is everything I am. I'm not here for me or for the lime light. I'm here for all the people God's called me to, both now and for the future. That is why God has brought me here. And I'm willing to lay my life down in every sense for Him. If he called me to live in a cave for the rest of my life to reach two random people, I would do it.
I love him. That's why.
On a lighter note, I got a job!!! God is faithful. I'm a waitress for the first time and it gets a bit crazy at times. But by God's grace, I've really gotten the hang of it and actually get great reward out of serving my customers. And the most surprising thing of all has been how strongly I feel God talk to me while I'm just cleaning tables.
I just want to encourage whoever's reading this to know that if God can provide and heal and protect and bring me here, he can do it for you! In my Old Testament class, I've just been so encouraged and inspired by the fact that God 4,000 years ago is the same as He is today. He has not changed. He is good and only does good. He does everything and allows things to happen for his good purpose. He will bring everything around because he orchestrates it all. Trust him. Cling to him. Be ignited by his love and hope.
I'm still trusting God for the second half of my tuition. But I know it's already here. It's provided for. I speak it in faith every day because I know God has called me here and he provides where He guides. I'm excited and full of faith.
Whooo. Feels like I just spilled out my guts. But I hope you enjoyed it, somewhat. Until next time.
xx
Awww Lydia. How amazing our God is. I am praying for you and your future. I can't wait to see what all God has in store for you. <3
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