What Really Happened: Expect the Unexpected

"I'm never going back to Clarksville. I'm on to bigger and better things. I'll probably move to Europe or somewhere glamorous once I'm done with college," were my thoughts as I entered into 2012 and into my season here at Hillsong College.

I had a plan. I thought I was good at making plans. And I thought my plan was really good. When I came to Hillsong College in January 2012, my plan was to stay here two or three years, meet a great guy, and then run off into the sunset to start a church plant. I never actually considered anything else.

But as I embarked on this year, as all are, the way as I saw life, God, and myself was transformed. I finally stepped into the authority I dared to believe I had in Christ and as my speech and disciplines changed, so did my heart.

See, my greatest revelation at college was not how incredible I am as a leader, or gifted I am as a worship leader, or loving I am as a connect leader, but it was always how absolutely awesome and magnificent my Savior is. How merciful is his love! How all sufficient is his grace that he's given to me to do all he's purposed me to do! How abundant is his goodness!

In the process of my heart being shaped and molded to beat like his in this year, he changed my desires. My desire changed from "I want to build a great ministry and and be a great worship leader and have a great marriage and embark on a great life" to "I want what HE wants. I want to build HIS church and reach the people that HE has called me to reach." My life is no longer about me, but about him. I finally got out of the way. I finally let go.

The catalyst for my change of heart was finally allowing myself to encounter his love in the way he desired. So often, I made my relationship with God about me, but when I finally turned my eyes to him to give up all I wanted and all that I desired, I found a deeper and more overwhelming love than I could have possibly imagined. Through different services, conferences, chapels, connect groups and small conversations, I started to encounter this love. 

In this year growing as a leader, I learned to trust God for who he IS. And he is love. So instead of setting for myself my own version of love (what I thought I wanted), I just let the person of Jesus Christ become love to me. 

When I finally got to the place where I was willing to follow Jesus wherever that meant and do whatever he wanted me to do, He decided to flip the switch on me. At first it was little tugs on my heart over the summer break, but the final turn of my heart was when provision and circumstance didn't seem to come together to start my second year at college. It didn't make sense to me at first, but as I prayed and trusted God, I experienced a change of heart like never before. 

I'm back not because it's what I expected, but because I'm called to be here, in Clarksville, Tennessee in the States. I'm on mission here. And because of the atmosphere and incredible teaching and family at Hillsong College, God has enabled me to see myself as the leader he's called me to be and opened my eyes to the gifts he's given me to lead back at my home church. I know I'm back to serve and build my church like never before and I couldn't have done that without being discipled and raised up in this season in this incredible college and church.

I am so blessed and forever grateful for my season in Australia. I'm so expectant for what's to come and honored that God would choose me to be apart of his grand story. All praise and glory be to Him!

  

The Next Three Days

Wow, this week is here. 

This week is the week where I'm going to be figuring out whether I'm started my second year at college or not. The facts and figures don't make it any less unpredictable than when I started Christmas break.

Just to be real, I haven't been able to save anywhere near what I thought I would save over the break for tuition. Through different circumstances, I ended up moving a few different times in the past two months, which brought along unexpected expense that really drained a lot of my savings (accompanying with my living expenses).

So, the way the figures look, I don't have enough money to start my second year. But I'm crazy enough to see beyond those figures and I'm actually expecting God to turn up in the next three days to provide.

The revelation I had over the break was that if I'm doing my second year at Hillsong College, it would truly be for God alone and because it's essential for fulfilling HIS call on my life. Having great, divine friendships and an exciting life in Australia and leading worship just isn't enough for me to justify staying here. I know God will provide those things wherever I go. But if God is calling me here for another year to build on the foundation he's already been laying for me to be most useful and effective for my small part in His plan for humanity, then I'm going to stay.

I completely feel as if I'm in the eye of the storm. My surroundings are completely crazy and unstable and unpredictable, yet all I feel is peace. The peace that surpasses my understanding. But one thing God really spoke to me at Summerfest, our young adults summercamp, over the weekend was that the ground I stand on is rock-solid. I'm not going to fall or go to the wayside. Whatever the answer and wherever I end up in this next season, I know God is in control. And I trust him more than I have ever before.

Psalm 62:1-2 (The Message)
God, the one and only—
    I’ll wait as long as he says.
Everything I need comes from him,
    so why not?
He’s solid rock under my feet,
    breathing room for my soul,
An impregnable castle:
    I’m set for life.

A few weeks ago, I really felt God lay on my heart that I was going to be sponsored for my tuition for this next year. I don't know how this is going to happen, but I'm just going to trust that if God said it, he'll come through. I've sent out my letters, I've made a site for donations, and now I really think God wants me to rest. I don't have to get desperate or anxious, I only need to trust. 

So sponsor, if you're out there, I'm totally ready for God to use you to do a miracle in my life right now. Just go on ahead :)

My last revelation is this: the greatest thing I know God has called me to before anything else is to just build and love his church. And whatever season I'm in and wherever he's placed me, I know I'll be able to do just that. In a sense, I never lose. When I'm open and willing to doing whatever God needs me to do to forward his beautiful plan of redeeming the world who he so relentlessly loves, I'll always be where he needs me to be.

Regardless to say, I'm so excited for this next season. This year is my year of Zion. Of building his kingdom, loving his church, and seeing the lost saved. Knowing his love and sharing his love is all I want. When he is my goal and my peace, everything else fades in comparison.

~
"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul."
~

Lastly, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers over the past few months. God is so faithful and so good and I know through your prayers he has blessed and strengthened me more than I could have been on my own. I am so blessed to have such incredible people surrounding me and supporting me on my journey of life.

If you would like to sponsor me or donate, you can just visit this website that makes it too easy to give: http://youcansend.me/lydiagrider/

xx
L