What Really Happened: Expect the Unexpected

"I'm never going back to Clarksville. I'm on to bigger and better things. I'll probably move to Europe or somewhere glamorous once I'm done with college," were my thoughts as I entered into 2012 and into my season here at Hillsong College.

I had a plan. I thought I was good at making plans. And I thought my plan was really good. When I came to Hillsong College in January 2012, my plan was to stay here two or three years, meet a great guy, and then run off into the sunset to start a church plant. I never actually considered anything else.

But as I embarked on this year, as all are, the way as I saw life, God, and myself was transformed. I finally stepped into the authority I dared to believe I had in Christ and as my speech and disciplines changed, so did my heart.

See, my greatest revelation at college was not how incredible I am as a leader, or gifted I am as a worship leader, or loving I am as a connect leader, but it was always how absolutely awesome and magnificent my Savior is. How merciful is his love! How all sufficient is his grace that he's given to me to do all he's purposed me to do! How abundant is his goodness!

In the process of my heart being shaped and molded to beat like his in this year, he changed my desires. My desire changed from "I want to build a great ministry and and be a great worship leader and have a great marriage and embark on a great life" to "I want what HE wants. I want to build HIS church and reach the people that HE has called me to reach." My life is no longer about me, but about him. I finally got out of the way. I finally let go.

The catalyst for my change of heart was finally allowing myself to encounter his love in the way he desired. So often, I made my relationship with God about me, but when I finally turned my eyes to him to give up all I wanted and all that I desired, I found a deeper and more overwhelming love than I could have possibly imagined. Through different services, conferences, chapels, connect groups and small conversations, I started to encounter this love. 

In this year growing as a leader, I learned to trust God for who he IS. And he is love. So instead of setting for myself my own version of love (what I thought I wanted), I just let the person of Jesus Christ become love to me. 

When I finally got to the place where I was willing to follow Jesus wherever that meant and do whatever he wanted me to do, He decided to flip the switch on me. At first it was little tugs on my heart over the summer break, but the final turn of my heart was when provision and circumstance didn't seem to come together to start my second year at college. It didn't make sense to me at first, but as I prayed and trusted God, I experienced a change of heart like never before. 

I'm back not because it's what I expected, but because I'm called to be here, in Clarksville, Tennessee in the States. I'm on mission here. And because of the atmosphere and incredible teaching and family at Hillsong College, God has enabled me to see myself as the leader he's called me to be and opened my eyes to the gifts he's given me to lead back at my home church. I know I'm back to serve and build my church like never before and I couldn't have done that without being discipled and raised up in this season in this incredible college and church.

I am so blessed and forever grateful for my season in Australia. I'm so expectant for what's to come and honored that God would choose me to be apart of his grand story. All praise and glory be to Him!

  

The Next Three Days

Wow, this week is here. 

This week is the week where I'm going to be figuring out whether I'm started my second year at college or not. The facts and figures don't make it any less unpredictable than when I started Christmas break.

Just to be real, I haven't been able to save anywhere near what I thought I would save over the break for tuition. Through different circumstances, I ended up moving a few different times in the past two months, which brought along unexpected expense that really drained a lot of my savings (accompanying with my living expenses).

So, the way the figures look, I don't have enough money to start my second year. But I'm crazy enough to see beyond those figures and I'm actually expecting God to turn up in the next three days to provide.

The revelation I had over the break was that if I'm doing my second year at Hillsong College, it would truly be for God alone and because it's essential for fulfilling HIS call on my life. Having great, divine friendships and an exciting life in Australia and leading worship just isn't enough for me to justify staying here. I know God will provide those things wherever I go. But if God is calling me here for another year to build on the foundation he's already been laying for me to be most useful and effective for my small part in His plan for humanity, then I'm going to stay.

I completely feel as if I'm in the eye of the storm. My surroundings are completely crazy and unstable and unpredictable, yet all I feel is peace. The peace that surpasses my understanding. But one thing God really spoke to me at Summerfest, our young adults summercamp, over the weekend was that the ground I stand on is rock-solid. I'm not going to fall or go to the wayside. Whatever the answer and wherever I end up in this next season, I know God is in control. And I trust him more than I have ever before.

Psalm 62:1-2 (The Message)
God, the one and only—
    I’ll wait as long as he says.
Everything I need comes from him,
    so why not?
He’s solid rock under my feet,
    breathing room for my soul,
An impregnable castle:
    I’m set for life.

A few weeks ago, I really felt God lay on my heart that I was going to be sponsored for my tuition for this next year. I don't know how this is going to happen, but I'm just going to trust that if God said it, he'll come through. I've sent out my letters, I've made a site for donations, and now I really think God wants me to rest. I don't have to get desperate or anxious, I only need to trust. 

So sponsor, if you're out there, I'm totally ready for God to use you to do a miracle in my life right now. Just go on ahead :)

My last revelation is this: the greatest thing I know God has called me to before anything else is to just build and love his church. And whatever season I'm in and wherever he's placed me, I know I'll be able to do just that. In a sense, I never lose. When I'm open and willing to doing whatever God needs me to do to forward his beautiful plan of redeeming the world who he so relentlessly loves, I'll always be where he needs me to be.

Regardless to say, I'm so excited for this next season. This year is my year of Zion. Of building his kingdom, loving his church, and seeing the lost saved. Knowing his love and sharing his love is all I want. When he is my goal and my peace, everything else fades in comparison.

~
"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul."
~

Lastly, thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers over the past few months. God is so faithful and so good and I know through your prayers he has blessed and strengthened me more than I could have been on my own. I am so blessed to have such incredible people surrounding me and supporting me on my journey of life.

If you would like to sponsor me or donate, you can just visit this website that makes it too easy to give: http://youcansend.me/lydiagrider/

xx
L

#LydiaYear2

This girl ain't giving up yet.

From now until the end of January, I'm going to take you on my journey to Second Year. It's only a month and half away, but I know God is going to do miraculous things in my life. I'm needing a miracle to pay for tuition and renewing my visa, but I've been through this before and I know I'll always be believing for big, impossible, God-dreams, and I know he'll come through and provide for where he's called me.

I'm going to be sending out a newsletter by email in the next two weeks to raise support for second year as well as working as much as I can at my two jobs.

I'm nothing less than expectant and pumped! I know next year is a turning point for me and no matter what happens, God will do great things and get all the glory!

Unless you haven't noticed, the banner up the top of my page says it all :)

#LydiaYear2

xoxo

Month Ten and the End of Year One

And alas, I have come to the end of the greatest year of my life so far. How exactly did that happen? I almost feel like I've jumped into a time machine, because arriving here still seems like a week ago.

More than an outward and countenance change, I really believe this year has dug a well so deep in me for who God is. It's no longer become about desiring a faith or relationship like what the amazing worship leader has or what Bobbie Houston has, but God has given me a specific and unique measure that he gets to fill and use in this world. It makes all mindsets of comparison go away. No one can do what God's called me to do and I can't do what God has called anyone else to do either.

The greatest thing I've learnt this year is trust. It seems a bit obvious, but it's the deepening of trust that has changed me so much. I've learned to trust Jesus not because of what he can give me or do for me, but I've actually learned to trust who he is. He isn't just the fixer of my situation. He isn't just involved. He controls everything in my situation. He has all authority in my situation. He is so much bigger than I've often given him credit for being, in my life especially. 

When I trust him, it no longer is about me, because I know I can't change the situation in and of myself. I depend on him, because I know my strength is not enough. Therefore, when life falls into place and I come out strong in tough situations, it's ALL because of him. A verse in Isaiah 63 spoke to me to strongly last week and I think it describes what God wants to do in all of us:

Isaiah 63:11b-14

Where is he who set his Holy Spirit among them, who sent his glorious arm of power to be at Moses' right hand, who divided the waters before them, to gain for himself everlasting renown, who led them through the depths? Like a horse in open country, they did not stumble; like cattle that go down to the plain, they were given rest by the Spirit of the Lord. This is how you guided your people to make for yourself a glorious name.

Yes, because I am relationship with Jesus and am running after his heart, I am going to great things and I know I am going to be sustained through every season, but it's not for me. It's to make his name glorious! It's to lift people's eyes to their Maker. I've learned that this is why I sing, and this is why I love to lead people into the presence of Jesus through song. It's not because of what I can do, but it's what people are experiencing through what I do and that it is the unconditional love and freedom of Christ.

Okay, here's an update of what's going on for me in this next season:

• I'm staying here over break to work so that I can do second year of college. I truly believe that God isn't done with me here yet and next year is going to be so strategic and foundational for where He is leading me after college.
• I have two jobs at the moment: Gloria Jeans (a coffee shop, sorta like Starbucks) and I'm still at the Playland Cafe for kids.
• I honestly don't' know how I'm going to be able to pay for all of second year, but I know God is going to provide for every need if this is where he has me. I'm believing that all tuition and fees will be paid in full by the time I start at the end of January. So yes, I'm needing another miracle but if there's anything I've learned about God's provision, it's that he doesn't get tired of providing for me, especially when he's getting the glory for it. It's not like I come to him needing another miracle and he goes, "Seriously, Lydia, again?". He delights in giving good gifts to his children. So I'm pumped!
• I'm going to be helping at an extension service every Sunday over break (and potentially all of next year). I'm so excited to serve and build into the creative team and service itself and see God bring even more freedom and life to the family at Burwood.
• I'm so pumped to bring some of my coworkers to church over this break and I'm determined to see as many as I can meet Jesus! My heart is that this break would be so much more than about me even though I know I'm going through a journey myself. 

Well, you're probably tired of reading this by now, so I'm going to wrap it up. I miss everyone more than I think anyone knows. But my prayer is that I'll be able to visit home for the July break as a birthday present (hint, hint Mom and Dad!). God is doing such beautiful and wondrous and redemptive things on this earth and I'm so blessed to be a small part of it.

I love you all and I'll talk to you soon! 

xx

L

ps. Be on the lookout for a little Christmas video I'll be uploading for everyone. Yes, I'll be at the beach on Christmas day, but that doesn't stop me from having a White Christmas in Tennessee still in my heart :)

Month Eight + Month Nine (NEWS!)

Hello wonderful and beautiful friends!

So I've been terrible about blogging about the past two months, so I wanted to do another video update to sum up all that's been happening in the last two monthsand how the future is looking. Thank you all for following me and the support and love I constantly receive from all of you.

Here's the video:

Ps. Just to clarify, the "Holy Spirit craziness" I'm talking about in the video is what has just been happening in the life of church and it's been just life-changing to experience a whole new level of freedom in our services and in my own personal life when I experience the power of the Holy Spirit. 

^{Zechariah 4:6}
'So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.'

I also just wanted to share a song that's been on my heart and I cannot stop listening to it. I pray God's love would overflow into your heart as you listen to it and that you would experience Jesus on a whole new level as this year ends. Much love!!!

xx
L

Month Seven

Wow. I can really only say wow. Because from the time of my last post to now, it's like my life has taken a 180 degree turn!

God has literally met every need. Not only has he provided for my tuition and living expenses through family, friends, and even anonymous cards in the mail, but he has even opened the door for an incredible job. 

I am currently working at a Playland Cafe for kids. Not only do I get to hang out with incredible children and have dance parties with them, but I've finally learnt how to make really good coffee. Took me a little while not to burn the milk, but I've just about got the hang of it now. Plus, I get to dress up like a ladybug and wear red lipstick. It's too much fun!

 I'm officially called "Lydia Ladybug" or
just "Lady" to all the kids.

I foremost want to say THANK YOU to everyone who's given to, prayed for, and believed in me. God has showered me with his love and favor in these past weeks and it was through the incredible people in my life. Thank you for your generosity. Thank you for believing in me and even more, what God is doing through me. He gets all the credit. My prayer is that he gets all the recognition and fame in all of this.

In the midst of his financial blessing, I've been challenged all the more to lay my life down for his cause. One of my best friends and housemate, Lucy, said something incredible the other day. She told me, "Maybe it's more about the testimony than the actually provision." It's actually more about who God is and how I can testify to others of his goodness than what I've actually received. Like Abraham, I've been blessed so I can bless others. 

God has shown me that he is still the same God now as he was a month ago when I was still in faith for what I had not received yet. He knew what he was doing the whole time. He was preparing me for the season I'm now in. 

My job is far from over. Between the season I've just been in and my Personal Evangelism class, I've become passionate and challenged more than ever to share about my faith and love people like never before. Even in my job, I've had opportunity to just love on my boss and coworkers and I'm believing that I'm going to see them give their lives to Jesus in this season. 

If my number one goal in life isn't essentially what Jesus told us to do (the Great Commission, not Suggestion), then I've missed it. I've missed the whole point. If all my dreams and visions don't ultimately point to bringing home the lost and going out into the world and sharing the good news of Jesus, what am I doing? 

I pray that I would be the one that God stops at when looking for someone to use. I pray I would be the one willing to go to the darkest place to bring his light. I pray I would be friend to the drug addicts and homosexuals and gossips and adulterers and liars and thieves and broken and lonely, so that I can share the love and truth of Jesus with them.

God's revealed to me in this past year that my life is not going to be normal. I may have to lay my life down more literally than just doing the uncomfortable things. My life is going to be more than being a pastor's wife, a worship leader, a mom, a friend, or a connect leader. I'm not sure what that looks like, but all I can say is, "Here I am, Lord. Send me!" and then go when he says, "Go!"

In other news, one of the biggest honors and blessings of this semester has been leading a connect group in college. I seriously have the most epic people in my connect and I'm so pumped to just see them grow and become the leaders that God's made them to be. I'm already seeing them grow and step up. It's been so good to see them open up and share the dreams and visions God's put on their hearts.  I cannot believe I get to do life with these world changers!

God is continuing to show up and move in this season and even greater things are ahead!!

xx

Month Six

When I first started writing this entry, I was planning on focusing on how I just came out of this big storm and how hard it was but how I made it through.

But then, I thought, that wouldn't be giving God any credit or focus. Because really it's all been Him. So, I've decided to focus on what He's done and how I've discovered more of who He is.

And the fact is, despite what I've gone through, I'm still here. I can't say things worked out the way I was hoping. But coming out of the storm, I was still hopeful and joyful. It was a Sunday morning in worship and I was asking myself how I was still so at peace even though I hadn't received the miracle the way I expected. And it brought me to tears God spoke to my heart, "You're still here." 

The point is, God has still called me here. Despite what I feel I'm lacking, God has sustained me this entire time. Even after losing my first job waitressing, he's opening doors for an even better job. 

My trust and hope has been strengthened beyond what I expected. I've learned about what God's goodness and favor truly is through believing for my financial miracle. At the end of the day, God's favor is not what he has to offer me and give me, though I know he gives good gifts to his children. His goodness and favor is Christ himself. It's Jesus here with me. It's his presence. And in his presence, I've found abundance. In his presence, I've found everything I need. 

In the toughest season of my life, I've found myself closest to my savior. I've found myself not being burned by the fire, but refined. I've heard God's voice more clearly and felt his love more surely than ever before. And for that, I give him all praise. He is so deserving! He is most worthy!

As this next semester has started, I've found myself so excited and expectant. I've been feeling for the past few months that this second semester is going to be pivotal to where God is taking me. Everything is on a whole new level. Over our two week break, I was part of the Welcome Team for the new students and I saw myself as well as those around me step into a whole new level of leadership.

There has been such a shift in the atmosphere. Everyone is stepping up to serve and lead and make this semester incredible. It's all about team and raising the standard. It's allowed me to really rise to the challenge and push myself to serve and love and lead like never before. It has gotten me so pumped to lead a connect this semester with the new intake. 

I really feel the reason I went through such a tough time in the leading weeks to second semester starting was because the enemy knows that this semester is going to be stand out, and he'd like nothing more than to distract me from just that. 

The only word I have to describe the next few months is wild. I know this semester is going to be wild and God is going to do incredible things. I truly believe he is going to reveal where he is leading me in the next season and start to build on the dreams he's placed in my heart. All I have to do is step into it!

This year is continuing to be beyond what I could have ever dreams and I'm constantly honored that of all places, God has brought me here. How incredible is Jesus?! 

xx

PS. If you would like send some support for my monthly expenses, that would be the biggest blessing! If you are interested, you can e-mail me at Lydia.Grider@gmail.com or just message me on Facebook.